A quote I've been pondering today: “The production of Christmas directly contradicts probably the one single relatively uncontaminated value inherent in the deep core of the [season]: that of the grateful and humble reception of a gratuitous gift. A better pastoral approach would be to present as normative, and truly to live out in a personal witness, the virtue of receptivity: letting
Christmas be a gift, on its own terms, out of our own power, reminding us of the futility of our often obsessively intense efforts to control not only our own life, but too often to control other people, places and things… The incarnation of God opens up a space within which, because humans cannot achieve the production of God on demand, God can move. God took the initiative on Christmas without obtaining human permission to do so. This, in fact, amounts to grace.”- Susan K. Roll, “Embodied Wisdom: Christmas in a Contemporary Context”from The Origins of Christmas, Kampen, 1995, p 244.

Have you ever gone to watch your child perform at a recital?  I always become tense, sitting on the edge of my seat, concentrating and willing each note or word out of the performance, as if my willing it will make it so.  I then leave the theater exhausted.  How silly to think that my holding my breath helps in any way. 

Lately I find myself doing the same at Church.  I have felt at times as if I am pulling the weight of the churches behind me, willing them to change the way I would have them change.  In my defense, I am at least attempting to follow in Jesus’ footsteps.  But it is really quite silly to try to drag some 100 people along behind me.  Sometimes I forget that I am not the shepherd of this flock.  Christ is.  But even Christ encourages us each to walk on our own when we can.  

As a disciple of Christ it is our responsibility to follow him.  Think of the community of the Church as fellow travelers.   I use to backpack in the Grand Canyon once or twice a year with a group of friends.  We had a set of rules.  1) Each of us was to set out with our own water, personal care items and our fair share of the weight of the supplies needed. 2) We walked at our own pace, each according to our personal stride. 3) We stopped regularly and waited for the slowest to catch up, checking on how we each were doing. 4) We asked for help when needed. 5) If someone could not carry their full weight, we each relieved a portion of the load. 

I can still remember one time when I was the last one, and had been for most of the day.  I was feeling depressed, worried that I was letting my friends down, and wondering if I would ever make camp.  I walked around a bend in the trail and there was a friend sitting in the shadow of a rock outcrop, waiting for me and brewing a pot of tea. When we finished the tea, we walked together until we got to the campsite, a couple of miles away.  That helped so much.  He didn’t need to carry me, or even my pack.  He just was willing to share my steps.

So I need to remember to let go and let God be in control.  All the labored breathing in the world never helped a child make it through his saxophone solo.  All the worry in the world cannot make a Church grow. 

As fellow travelers following our one true Shepherd, we need to carry our own weight when we can, follow Christ as we are able, care for others along the way, be honest when we need help, and lend a hand and encouragement when we see a need.  I need to remember that Christmas is a gift that comes to us.  The most we can do in this season is maybe light the pathway.  

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